next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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