Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
