i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
