I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
