All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
