it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My vagina just recognized that song.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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