if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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