I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
