She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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