Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
