Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
