imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
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She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
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There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
This toilet bowl is my home.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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