Whod you bang
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
