we're blogging at a bar
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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