she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
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Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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