I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
