I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
