For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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