I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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