This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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