Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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