I'm eating all of the evidence.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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