I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
