Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
A+ Viking dick
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
