I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
