Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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