I puked a lego.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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