The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
