I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The adults are the big ones right?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
