They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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