just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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