she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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