OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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