so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
