So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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