Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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