just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
