She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
