So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
