Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
