Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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