it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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