I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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