so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
