What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
