i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize