I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize