I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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