My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
