I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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