I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
