you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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