I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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