are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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