TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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