you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize