i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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