hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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