Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
