i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
