grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
