Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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