I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
