look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
